I will come right out and declare that I am an Edwardsian as opposed to a Deanisian. I state this now so the majority of you can get back to your "Tears and Fears Friday" routine without wasting any more of your precious time on my absurdities.
But hey! I like Edwards. After all, he is just an average joe from small town N.C. up from humble roots. Our greatest (as opposed to most overhyped) presidents have all come from humble roots.
Roosevelt. Kennedy. Sharpton.
(note to nonironists: I only threw "Sharpton" in there because I wanted to be the all-time first and only DKOS diarist to ever mention the name "Sharpton." There, its been done twice, now.)
But I digress....lets see, now, where was I...oh yeah... Opie Edwards is just an All american boy football hero from NC who just happens to be (a)smarter than us (b) better looking than us (c) has a spouse who is just as smart and almost as good looking as ours (d)grew up poorer than dirt but is now richer than shit, and (e)accomplished his wealth by doing some good by for victims of medical butchery.
Why the hell not elect a guy like that to the White House? Maybe even consider suspending the Constitution and let him stay in office until he either (a)dies or (b) somebody even more miraculously smart & good looking comes along.
Then, on the other hand, there is Howard (the Christ) Dean. He is an intelligent, courageous man, a brilliant man, a true visionary, especially in his being the single, only one among the entire field of Democratic Party Primary Candidates Who Stood A Snowball's Chance In Hell Of Winning The Nomination, who actually opposed the War in Iraq prior to the invasion.
In a more perfect world, my friends, Howard Dean would not only be President of the United States, but his wife would be my personal physician, too.
[Note inserted by Donkeytale: the following hypothetical fantasy described in the following parenthetical paragraph in the unexpurgated version of this diary has been deleted at the request of one of my good readers. The new and improved, (reformed, so to speak) Donkeytale aims to please!
(Blank-blank-blank-blank-blank-blank-blank-blank-blank-blank-blank-blank-blank. I really miss the passion of the Gores, too....hell, I'll even confess to missing the passion of the Clintons. Well, half the Clintons anyway...).
But I digress once more....
What if Edwards got down on his hands and knees before us all and pleaded guilty and begged forgiveness for his sin of defending his and Kerry's sins of voting for the authorization to go to War in Iraq? I mean after all... would Opie ever have come to the conclusion that President Barney Fife was doing anything more than rattling his Republic of Texas sabre in Saddam's face?
Why, such a notion would have been downright cynical, and one thing we don't cotton to here in Mayberry is cynicism, Aunt Bea.
But I digress...
What if all you Deanisians just gave Edwards a break? Hell, he was only following Bob 'Shroom's script anyway.
And as we should all know by now, 'Shrooms is responsible for more losers than anyone in the recorded history of mankind, except for God.
And would it be so wrong if the Edwardsians and the Deanisians here at DKOS called a truce? How about the two forming a coalition in interest, marrying their undeniable and diverse skill sets to attain the greater prize....how about the charismatic, good looking Edwards as front man, and the gifted, visionary Dean as the bag man?Then the Deanisians and the Edwardsians would necessarily become part of the same team.
After all, the Deanisians have the Edwardsians outnumbered 23,987,094 to 0. (Officially, Donkeytale is still in Sharpton's camp).
There. I said it three times.